TRUST IN YOUR FUNERAL DIRECTOR

By Cheyenne Dorsagno

“Every burial involves more than 1,000 decisions that have to be made by the organizer during the worst five days of their life,” The Guardian wrote.

Frank Cagnina

McGrath, Myslinski, Kowalczyk, and Nunn Funeral Directors made note of this claim. Funeral Directors Frank Cagnina and Patrick McGrath explained that they can make this overwhelming time easier.

Their Approach

This business has been building their experience since they opened in 1901. From then on, a variety of families have combined forces. Come the early 90’s, the McGrath family took over. Their team has about 20 employees.

They compared their work to a Swiss army knife, because they offer a variety of services to families. They strive to address every task the family needs done, be it big or small.

Patrick McGrath

“We shovel the snow, and we do the embalming,” said Patrick.

Additionally, they write obituaries, issue death certificates, and abide by the last wishes of the deceased.

“We try to take the majority of the burden off their shoulders,” said Frank.

Individualizing the Funeral

Ideal funeral directors fulfill requests on how to celebrate and represent loved ones. For example, McGrath, Myslinski, Kowalczyk, and Nunn have buried a passed firefighter in their uniform. They’ve played music during wakes – like “You Raise Me Up” by Josh Groban. They have stood up someone’s casket against the wall for traditional Irish wakes. They have provided programs, prayer cards, tribute videos, and various unique memorabilia — like lighters with an engraving of the deceased’s fingerprint. Families can participate as much as they want. In some cultures, like Hinduism, people take very intimate responsibility for loved ones down to pouring the accelerant on the body before cremation.

There are many ways to honor a loved one. This is accomplished with greatest ease and satisfaction for families when the deceased has outlined their wishes.

Planning Ahead

The good news is that the public is increasing in awareness and preparation. McGrath, Myslinski, Kowalczyk, and Nunn serve about 200 families per year. About 50% of the services have been pre-arranged.

But not everything can be pre-arranged. For example, open-casket funerals pose unique challenges. Some restorations, like gunshot wounds, can be especially challenging. Families may consider an open-casket funeral to be therapeutic in the grieving process. So, there may be especially high stress over the wake.

“It’s nothing that can’t be overcome,” said Frank.

Quality embalmers will ease the stress. For guidance and accuracy, they look at pictures of the loved one, going as far as capturing their signature makeup.

But you can take some control by planning whatever possible.

You wouldn’t prepare for a disaster without a backup generator, Patrick explained. So don’t confront death without a will.

“At a very minimum, just tell your family what you want,” said Patrick. “You can’t be afraid to talk about death.”

It may be helpful to use materials from FAMIC’s Have the Talk of a Lifetime. This outreach program encourages families to share about their lives, values, and post-mortem preferences.

Also, a funeral home may help people invest in a life insurance policy and start a trust. With $25 a month and interest accrual, you can strive to save what you need. Mind you, the U.S. median cost for a funeral is $7,848 (NFDA).

You may still be wondering, why bother before you have to?

“Everyone deserves a dignified burial,” said Frank.

Your best bet is to rely on a good funeral home. Frank suggested considering those with at least a 4.5-star rating on Google. McGrath, Myslinski, Kowalczyk, and Nunn has a 5/5 based on 12 reviews.

“When someone is dealing with grief and stress and they compliment you, you know you’re doing something right,” said Frank.

They consider it rewarding to meet this challenge.

They do so by striving for work/life balance and a sense of humor.

Dependability

Consider having a relationship with a funeral home as a “legacy family” – one who uses their services again and again. That way, future generations will rest assured. And if you’re concerned because of notorious funeral homes, then you’re welcomed to see Forest Hill’s crematory yourself.

“Peace of mind is huge,” said Patrick.

“You need to have trust,” said Frank.

About Cheyenne Dorsagno

Cheyenne Dorsagno

Cheyenne Dorsagno is an Italian-American born and raised in underdog Utica, NY. She studied English at SUNY Oneonta with a minor in Professional Writing and an Editor-in-Chief role at the newspaper. Currently, Cheyenne strives to make our big world a little smaller by introducing locals to their neighbors via human-interest pieces shared on her blog, Our Neighborhood. She’s pursuing creative writing in her free time and various freelance writing in her professional time, such as by copy-writing.

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Find a Funeral Home Near you

The NYS Department of Health lists licensed Funeral Directors with Active Registrations on their website.

To find a funeral home go to Find Funeral Homes by County link.

Once one the page, select the county where you want to search, then click the search button.

All active funeral homes will be listed along with contact information.

Cheyenne Dorsagno

Contributing Author

Cheyenne Dorsagno is a wonderfully talented writer and contributing author on Mohawk Valley Today. Cheyenne highlights artists and creatives along with culture and trends that are happening throughout the Mohawk Valley. She brings her positive energy to everything she does.